Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Stay at home Mom

This may be the bravest post i have ever written..
I am a stay at home mom. It is a choice. It is not because it is convenient financially, emotionally, or because i feel pressure by my husband, parents, church or because i can't hold a job. Here are a few reasons why i am:
1. I am their only mother.
I carried them in my womb for 9 months, worked darn hard at getting them our of said body and no matter what, i am the only one who has that kind of connection with my children. I have known them and loved them since before they were born.
2. My children want me to stay home.
At this point in life, Knox is not old enough to speak and with his voice compel me to stay with him 24/7, but he is nursing so every 3 hours, i am the only one with what he needs. Brennan can speak and at times may tell you he doesn't want me around, but when he is scared or thirsty or tired its my name he calls out.
When all is said & done in life, they will not care or remember how classy i dress, what car we drove, what our home looked like..but they will remember how it FEELS. That mom was there creating a warm, inviting place, somewhere they feel save, accepted, encouraged. Somewhere where the one who disciplines them with spankings is the same who remembers their birthday & makes their favorite treats. Somewhere that is CONSISTENT, predictable, & fun. Who else would i choose that they learn of God and behavior?
I have a friend in late teen years who asked her mom to stay home with her one day when she was sick. Her mom replied 'don't you appreciate all that i give you?' (in essence the best of everything from piano lessons to the nation's top private education) To which she replied "But i never asked for any of that- all i really wanted was you.."
3. The Bible teaches that HOME is to be my primary place of work (Titus 2:5, 1 Timothy 5:14)
I am not saying that the Bible teaches that women shouldn't work..the Proverbs 31 woman worked buying and selling lands, making coverings for her household (which at that time went beyond just family). But i do believe that home is where i am to pour out my energy. "...its okay and even noble if we care for children as long as they are not our own, just the same as to submit to a boss in the office as long as its not our husbands.." [Carolyn Mahaney, Feminine Appeal]
4. I am equipped.
Not that if you are not equipped you shouldn't stay home, but as i stated in my previous post, my mom trained me for this. I watched her do her daily tasks and enjoy it. I saw how to have an orderly home, cook meals, care for children, teach children. In fact she is still doing those things even though my sis and i are "grown and gone". I was making cookies every Friday at 12 years old (because i enjoyed it!). Helping wash dishes and set the table, and making my own bed at 3 and 4 years old. I helped with age appropriate chores at every age. I came away with a strong work ethic.
5. My degree in college is not wasted.
I have Batchelor's of Science in elementary education. I have studied Child Psychology and Human Growth and Development. I took a class in Childhood Behavior. All because what i wanted to be when i grew up was a wife and a mom. I did teach for 5 years and will one day return to teaching (even if its just 5 short years away when the boys start school). BUT my goal was not to get that degree just to teach, but to prepare me for that role of wife and mom. NOT that i would have been mad at God had i not married, for i know HIS plan is always for my best. He could have made me just as happy as a single missionary in Timbuktoo..
6. Because it honors my husband.
The bible teaches that i am to honor my husband and how better that allowing him to show him that i trust him to provide for us? That i support him in what he does instead of saying (in essence) "you are not doing good enough, let me help.."
7. Because it gives God glory.
Neither Ben nor I can explain how we have all that we do. His recent job change, our unplanned growth in family size, prove our struggle. But God has been SOOOO faithful. He has not just let us 'not go hungry' but family and friends have taken us to our favorite places to eat as an unexpected treat, family and friends have provided NICE unused furniture and clothes throuhgout the years.. Ben & i could not have provided those things on our own with the financial limitations..but what man could not do..GOD DID!
When Ben & I are 'working hard' to provide for ourselves we tend to believe in our own self suffiency and become self reliant and self exalting (look what I did)..When we are trusting God it only proves His Faithfulness.
So why are you a stay at home mom?