Sunday, August 15, 2010

we're back...AND

We are back home! 8 whole days away from home and our dear babies!!! It was great! Our boys had a blast! Knox IS walking everywhere now..at least i didn't miss his first steps! He did not know what to do when he saw me last night..We got in at 7:30ish. Brennan ran to the door saying mommy with a grin the size of Texas on his face. Knox had a flood of emotions cross his face, smile, laugh, cry hold out his arms, refuse, reach for his Nana..it was a little much for him, and right at bedtime. But he has called me Mama and Ben Daddy all day and had a wonderful time. Brennan got a bit confused last night with both of us and called us Nana and Papa, but what do you expect?
On Friday before we left Athens, i got a call from my former partner teacher Teresa who is now principal at Ingleside Elementary. She called right as my parents drove off with the boys, right as i was about to fall apart. She claimed to have a dream job offer for me. 3 hours a week, reading interventionist. Ingleside is 3-4 minutes WALKING distance from my house, I know a lot of the teachers there, i am not responsible for lesson plans, or a classroom. I will be working with low students in grades 2-3 in a small group, reteaching setting. It is doing what i LOVE doing in the schools.
Now for how my heart is handling all this: at first i was excited, seemed to good to be true. I had to tell her by Monday if i wanted to accept the job or not.  Ben was very encouraging towards me taking it. I called my parents and told them & asked them to pray about it. My dad said it seemed to be the 'best of both worlds'. Our dear friends Lillian and Ryan (whom you will hear much more of as the stories from this past week unfold), said that it seemed a way of God providing. I never got excited about it. I thought it good, don't get me wrong, but you know me and you know what me 'excited' looks like. Last night i fell apart on Ben asking for his guidance and assurance about this offer. I'm reading 'Womanly Dominion' right now and i am Tennessee's biggest advocate for stay at home motherhood. (My mom has Bama covered). I have no  desire to leave the full time home front. I love what i do. Is it hard? HECK YES!!!! But i wouldn't trade it for the world. I will wipe noses, bottoms, do laundry and cook till the day i die with joy and love and peace, mind the Lord doesn't stop giving me those things. I have only ever wanted to be here, doing this.
So...why leave? How many women in America have a total love for the home, undesirous of another occupation? Isn't that a gift from God? What would i be saying to Him or anyone else by taking this position? But does God not know our position right now-Ben's job allowing him to be with the boys the 3 hours i would be gone? Is this not an opportunity for their father to bond and invest in them? Isn't it just like a LONG lunch break for him?
All council has been for it. I have wrestled a bit with my 'duty'. I would still be primarily home. It is just 1/4 of my day...Still for some reason this is not an easy call..your thoughts?