Sunday, August 22, 2010

the latest...

So after entereing the wonderful little elementary school on MOnday to get a tour of the teachers i would be working iwth i was exposed to and caught the stomach virus...i was up sick the entire night before my suposed first day of work. I went in on Thursday and poured out my heart to the principal, here is the jist of what i said:

As I laid in the bed today for hours, sick as could be; I walked through many stories in the Bible. I started with Noah. Everyone thought he was crazy, there had never even been rain come from the sky before and he is building a boat because God told him it was going to rain. In faith, he acted on what he believed and the rain certainly did come, his faith had saved him. Then there is Abraham-100 years old and he was going to have a son? But “...he believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness..” (Galatians 3:6) He acted on what he believed and his faith proved worthy as Sarah did in fact bear a son at 90. God did what He promised. Then there is Moses-the Egyptians behind him the Red Sea in front. God said step into the sea-he acted on what he believed God wanted him to do, even though he didn’t know how God was going to do it. Mary, mother of Jesus, though what God said was to happen had never been done before she believed God. Even though it made no sense.

So it makes no sense for me not to take this opportunity offered to me. It is ‘right down my alley’. I love teaching reading, I have been admonished in that skill, it is a passion of mine. It’s great hours, right down the street. It seems perfect.

But there are other people who have been gifted in that same way, able to carefully instruct students reading, to increase phonemic awareness and other vital skills. But there is no one else that can be there for Brennan an Knox everyday, instructing not only early reading skills, but also their character. That is something lacking in the world. I have an irreplaceable role as their mother. No one else will know their hearts and be able to prepare them to face the world and change it like I can. I am not trying to boast, because it is hard to be here day in and out-sweat pants and Sesame Street as you said..but it is a huge part of their future.

It is just 15 hours a week. I have told myself over and over, it sounds crazy, even to me. What is the big deal? I keep asking myself. But I am sure so did every person mentioned above. I have been excited about this job, as has everyone in our family, but ultimately as this day closes everyone has supported a choice to decline. I have no idea how God is going to provide for our family in the way this job would, but I believe that It is the right thing to stay home those 15 hours a week..even though it makes no sense.

I was so encouraged by her response. She totally understood and even said that she was somewhat surprised that i took the position. Having goen back to work when hers were 2 & 3 she understood how i was feeling. She said to try it for 2 weeks and then make my decision.

Last night (Sunday) Brennan was up all night throwing up..we are just waiting for Knox tonight... i will not be going in tomorrow and if all goes well (no one else gets sick) i will go back on Tuesday and serve the 2 weeks "notice". Finishing my last day on September 1st. I may continue to go down & assist some of the teachers when i am available. They have all been so thankful and appreciative of help from someone who understands.
This quote seems so fitting for my life right now:
“God never place us in any position in which we can not grow. We may fancy that He does. We may fear we are so impeded by fretting, petty cares that we are gaining nothing; but when we are not sending any branches upward, we may be sending roots downward. Perhaps in the time of our humiliation, when everything seems a failure, we are making the best kind of progress.”
~Elizabeth Prentiss