Monday, September 20, 2010

the latest

Okay, if you know me well you have probably discerned that this has been a difficult year. And it is in the fire that the dross is burned away-boy do i have some dross! Ha..
So as for our little family we have been on the rocks..this whole year. It has been wonderful at times & if i were to know Paul's floggings & shipwrecks i would probably say it has been close to easy a lot of the times. But i don't know Paul's floggings & shipwrecks, all i know is two children under 2 years old are VERY dependant on a mother. I work to teach them how to do things on their own, don't get me wrong, but there are just a lot of things a 1 &2 yr old can't do alone, so that keeps me more than on my, if you have kept up with it..the stuff with Brennan was awful. Ben, at one point, said that it is like having a child with special needs (which strangely enough-we both thought God had prepared us for but were rudely awakened by our inadequacy in this area).
The latest is we are on the Feingold diet. And if i were 'on it' i would link to a site where you could find out more, not & haven't been for a while..LOng story shorter, last dr visit we talked through a lot of things with a new doctor. This doctor is a member of a former church and has 2 children with the same food intolerance. Brennan is going 6 weeks on stage one of the diet which means no salicilytes, no artificial flavoring or coloring, no food dye (of course), and no preservatives BHT TBHQ and BHA. We have been watching closely and the dr said we would begin to see change immediately which we have..its like that old nursery rhyme. "when he is good he is very very good, but when he is bad-he is horrid"
If you read more about the diet you will see a lot of doctors put children who have been diagnosed ADHD on this diet-red dye and ADHD have been linked forever..but we were fortunate to have had not just behavioral side effects, but physical ones, or else we would have never found it..we would have just ""beat him half to death"" due to disciplines trying to overcome a physiological doubt he has received more than a fair share of spankings.
I am not going to go through the 3 hour convo we had over all that our fam has expereinced-two babies so close, Ben's job change, struggle with call to ministry, no sense of biblical community b/c of church home being 45 minutes away, no real feeling of belonging anywhere, my own illness, Ben's moving his office home..even as i list it -it seems small-no one has died, no one has anything life threatening..
Its just been hard, but who hasn't had hard times? Through about 3 months of talking about it, we have decided that it my not make any sense to anyone, and there are many unanswered questions, but we feel that our time in Athens is up. We are looking to put our house on the market. Yes we are aware that now is not a good time to sell. We are aware that we most likely won't be able to have a house this nice again (at least not for a long time).
God knew almost 2 years ago when we began going to CCK that they would be offering this class for men who struggle with call to ministry-we didn't. God knew that the church would be planting churches and need men who felt that call to be trained. I am not saying Ben is going to finish this class and go back to ministry full time-it may give him confirmation in the opposite way, we don't know where we could be in a year. So although the thought is to move to k'ville, we are wondering if it would be wise to buy a home if its possible we are in it such a short time..but then again it could be longer...
So PLEASE pray for us. Our thoughts are -if God's plan is for us to move-our home will sell and He will provide a place for us to live. Things may not be ideal, we may even have to live in apartments or with others, but we are content knowing that there are somethings more important than comfort. Our family needs biblical community and encouragement. We need support. We believe God is moving us away from Athens.
Until this post, this is not public knowledge. We just spoke with family about it today. So please don't just chatter on to others about this. I am still working, Ben is still working, we have absolutely NO IDEA what kind of time frame God will have all of this on. It could be another year before we actually sell or phyisically move our belongings..Only our BIG GOD knows..