Sunday, September 9, 2012

Mask removed

There I was 9:30 am. at the library when it opened to return our books before I had to pay another $12 late fee. The double stroller is on its lt leg, as we bought it second hand. And Knox ready to get some water after the mile long walk down the hill. And it hit me, I was about to walk in a public place and had never even looked in the mirror since I woke up. Wow you say. I couldn't imagine doing that. That's extreme. Joy you say, you are taking this stay at home mom thing a little to serious, you need to take care of YOU.
I admit I struggle between self sacrifice and self preservation. But you may not have looked in the mirror either if only I could paint you the picture of literal blood, sweat and tears that took place from breakfast to getting library books and three kids ready to walk.
I will spare you.
 God is gently helping me remove millions of layers of sin and pride. And just like without my make up its not that pretty. But it is beautiful on a deep level. Just like when your husband kisses you after hours of labor to get that 8 pound infant out of your body and he tells you  how much he loves you-it's not beause of your gorgeous looks, it's a much deeper beauty. Thats how this is. 
Joy. What do yo uthink when you hear  that word? Smiles, walmarts yellow happy face, daisies, balloons lots of ice cream.