Thursday, June 27, 2013

School

I am aware that this is very tardy in posting.
I have been "unplugged" since our move to the country in June and we just had satellite Internet installed this week. I must say it has been a welcome break but I have had my phone. It is just extremely difficult to post and entire paragraph or more on my little phone. So this has been saw din the iPad for months. It is more a record for me as I always say but maybe it will encourage you as well.
Would I have it any other way?
I get tired of waking up early
Fixing breakfast instead of getting girlie.
No make up for 90% of the day
Workout clothes, ponytail-do I like it this way?
Diapers, nursing, meals and more
Cleaning, recleaning, demand galore.
Snuggles, naptime all is quiet
Bible journal pen and blanket.
Dog barks, door knocks;Fed ex has perfect timing.
Should I keep up the effort or just stop trying?
Life for Jesus is worth more
That is what His word says ore and ore.
So is teaching at an institute
Really what I want to do?
Are these souls in my tender care
Worth me not going back there?
NO more grading papers
No more laminating no more staples?
Is it possible to return one day someway
Without the sacrifice of their fate?
For to stay at home does not insure
Escape from hell or pain endured.
Of this sadly i am aware
But how much about this should I care?
Gods love and promises are true
THEY are what save me, save you.
I want to do what is best for all
I'm aware my work's not small.
N other hands could care and feed
With this much love, a mamas seed.
I want to stay I want to go
I miss a job, nice clothes, payroll.
But it's not the money we all know that
It's just nice benefits getting fat.
But what need of that?-it will not last
What are those in eternity past?
I say 'I do the work of Christ'
But is homemaker, mama, wife
Truly what I "only" do? "Only" isn't fair I know
It's their souls I water, You make grow.
But if I cant save them why must I stay
It's not my work its yours you say.
But my job in this I want to know
Is it only to OUR kids I go?
Are there others in need of grace
In need of discipline and education base?
Who need to learn how to read
To know their sin and awful need?
Of you-o savior-strong and true.
Of long vowels and counting by twos.
Is home my workplace til I die?
Will more jobs be offered by and by?
Will you show me without a doubt
If this is my mission field or if I should stretch out.
I ask myself in retrospect
if I went back what would I expect?
Looking on the the last five plus a few something's
Would I have taken a job, would I change a thing?
No not a moment not a second of yet.
Each chaotic day full of tears-no regret.
I'm glad I've been here to correct or wipe away
Each boo-boo, argument and wanting ones own way.
To teach, to train, to learn alongside
Whew! It's been a crazy ride!
From nurse all day-pray all night
Wanting everything just right
To someone help me! what have I done?!
Now there's two not just one.
Demands all around no time to breathe
YOU brought me beyond the strength of me.
To YOU I lean, to YOU I ,called
Faithful always-oh I bawled.
On your kindness I depend
For child #3 you did send
Screaming crying will not eat
Three other mouths I need to feed.
Spit up sit up oh there's more
That's what's dried up on the floor.
Doctor, doctor hospital too.
Oh to find what's wrong with you.
Thank you Jesus for nutramigen
And for this mama to sleep again.
Grace poured out 2013
Thank you for a slate that's clean
New home new place new hope
I have let go of many a rope
That bound me to a schedule, to order; to ME.
Thank you for cutting each carefully.
Work on lord Jesus! change my heart!
You always know just where to start.
I would not rather be at school.
Than see my child learn the catechism rules.
I would NOT rather leave each morn,
Than see imagination all reborn:
In dress up clothes and Lego messes.
In Jesus loves me and you're the bestest.
I choose to stay. I like my choice,
To be with my girl, to be with my boys.
So I ask indeed would I have it any other way?
No, I just need fresh grace each day.
July 5,2013
PSALM 16: 5-6
The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup you hold my lot.
Th lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, indeed I have a beautiful inheritance.

No comments: