Saturday, February 16, 2013

This Certain Sweetness

Have you ever imagined life without you? I have always loved watching 'Its a Wonderful Life' each Christmas. You know the part when James Stewart kisses the broken staircase post? That is the sweetness I am talking about.

Before we left for Paris (and we have a Mexico wedding in March) we decided it would be wise to write a will. (And my mom said she wouldn't keep our kids unless i did!) So we knew we needed to for many months, but waited until the last minute to write it. So the day before we left in a large airplane to cross the ocean and be away from our kids for seven days, we signed all the legal documents. We walked through who would 'get' our kids. Where they would be raised, go to school, LIVE without us...if we didn't live. Not an easy task and very disturbing to the soul and therefore testing my soul to the highest degree before the Lord. Did i trust HIm to do what is for my ultimate best and also our children? I had to. 

Needless to say when we touched down in Nashville eight days later I wanted to hug our pilot who flew us back! And sing at the top of my lungs God Bless America!! 
...AND...
those little rascals that make my life miserable and overwhelming were the sweetest little things I have ever laid eyes on!!! Each day of caring for them is precious, priceless, and an amazing privilege. I know what you may be thinking...That will wear off and you will get tired again and complain again..You are probably right. I probably will. But i feel like i was handed and unwrappable gift. The gift of a thousand tomorrows. That raising these three yahoos and knowing the "highs and lows" of each day for each kid. Hearing Molly learn to say I love you, watching Knox write his name for the first time. Listen to Brennan read his first list of -at words, is a gift I don't want to complain about, and that facing my fear of not coming home gave me joy for today...

Today's little joy: Being alive to raise my kids