Friday, November 15, 2013

To work or not to work..JULY

So I promised to tell of July and the least post gave way to this naturally so here goes.
Brenna turned fine in May. With all my entimental teacher being I wanted to buy school supplies, await excitedly to see who his teacher would be, get new shoes and a lunch box...I considered the private classical school here in town that I did a maternity leave at last year, I went to talk with some of my past co workers at our public school about registering and then it happened. All roads pointed right and I was looking left. Everyone was encouraging my ability to teach. And as I evaluated all that it would mean schedule wise for us to enroll him I realized, it just makes sense to teach him myself this year. I could not even voice the words homeschool. The first week was shaking and then it cracked. I got a call.
It was the headmaster of the classical school and sparing details he was very accommodating and    Considerate. This school had offered me a job year before last and as I prayed about it this was Gods answer (from two years ago). I will share his answer about this year too, but for now...recall of his answer two years ago:
I was lead to John 21 through my daily bible reading schedule, through our women's group book and through my utmost for his highest daily reading. Fr three days God kept bringing me to John 21. S what does it say and how did that relate? It is still a BEAUTIFUL reminder to me. I will paraphrase. It was after Jesus' death and resurrection, the disciples were fishing.
Thy weren't catching anything.
Jesu called to them asking how it was going.
They relayed their unsuccessful-ness.
He told them put your net on the right side of the boat.
They were 'not able to haul it in because of the quantity'.
Jesus fixes breakfast for them.
He asks Peter if he loves him more than these and then he gives him three commands.
1. Feed my lambs
2. Tend for (take care of) my sheep
3. Feed my lambs
If your mind works like mine you may already see gods answer to me but if not, I will explain. The disciples were previously (before Gods special call on their lives during Christ' time on earth) fishermen. So after his death it appears they returned to their previous occupation maybe  by habit, maybe for security, maybe for money, maybe because of doubt, maybe they just needed some specific reminding of who they were and who they had been with. A God meets them there. An he asks how their attempts at taking care of themsleves was going. They report not well, and he gives them an instruction. The instruction gives them a quantity of provision so large they could not hold it. Then he speaks directly, intentionally and personally to Peter. Asking do you live me more than these. Now I haven't dug into commentaries to figure out the "these" referred to but it either means more than the fish he just caught (identifying him with his familiar dependence on fish as a means of livelihood) or more than the other disciples love Jesus. Most refer to the second option. No matter Jesus is questioning his loyalty to Christ. What happens next is beautiful. He says feed my sheep, take care of them , FEED them.
Jesus called to me in my efforts to figure things out on my own, asked how it was going after my answer of not very well he gave me an instruction and in following it I have found provision so large I can hardly contain it. He affirmed his call on my life by asking me the same question "do you love me more than these?, more than teaching, more than an occupation more than security? His answer rings loudly "then feed them (breakfast, pb&j and supper everyday)" " tend them caring for them as only a mama can" and then i pictured the holman bible jesus dressed in white with a blue head wrap thing handing me a black bound bible with gentleness in his eyes-feed them THIS "
And so I didn't take that job. And I've been feeding my lambs and caring for them and teaching them his word ever since....
Now for the next post his answer about this year..