tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91557004736655381342024-03-05T19:49:09.468-08:00Little JoysIt's the little joys of today that give us hope for tomorrow.joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.comBlogger380125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-86421020797070128512019-09-28T21:46:00.002-07:002019-09-28T21:46:35.042-07:00Surrender<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwTlnNLqhRTKM5lqlDFkrh36jNSbnJY2Pq4sIlNDxMfSZvQ2dyOTXJStSK-9d0d8W0vuV4AVNJBEKxBywaBgqFtIpbA_PI7V7AccvvNZjAPNGkjwgtGrNY0_l4NPxkPDa1LhLojDg0Dsw/s1600/surrender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwTlnNLqhRTKM5lqlDFkrh36jNSbnJY2Pq4sIlNDxMfSZvQ2dyOTXJStSK-9d0d8W0vuV4AVNJBEKxBywaBgqFtIpbA_PI7V7AccvvNZjAPNGkjwgtGrNY0_l4NPxkPDa1LhLojDg0Dsw/s1600/surrender.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Surrender</b>-a word I'm familiar with</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I've heard it sung from birth in hymns.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But always cautious I listened</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Never convinced to a true end;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That any one soul could sing those words</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">without feeling a bit absurd.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For one minute we mean it, one minute we don't.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Our spirit may want it, our flesh won't.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What does it mean this surrender thing?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The dictionary says "to relinquish control".</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Wow! that takes the next level of soul.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For control I know well what that word means.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is my life-what I do-its ME.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Control: my kids, the laundry, our home, the messes,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">arguments, education are just a few of today's stresses.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Its what I strive for from dusk till dawn.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What I do grouchy sometimes and as I yawn</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Ask myself- Surrender -is it gone?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">From my heart, is it turning to stone?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Because trust You-how could I? Look what you've done</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You punished forsook Him-your very own Son.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The bitter cup you made Him drink</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Would you give me less? I'm tempted to think.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I look at my girl friends the pain they've endured</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I look at my own life and see issues uncured.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You've taken their babies, their husbands and more</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You taken things from me you can't replace from a store </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Why am I tempted to think our grief is greater</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That we know much more than our Creator?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There is a reason You are God and I'm not</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Even though we misunderstand you a lot.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I want to surrender I want to trust you</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">but its not something that alone I can you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Will you enable me to let go of control </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">to trust you again with a childlike soul?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm scared there's no doubt I'm afraid what you'll do</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But relinquish control is what I choose.</span></div>
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<br />joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-13281215306339751052019-09-01T04:32:00.001-07:002019-09-01T04:32:53.393-07:00...And we're back in 5,4,3,2,1Hi everyone! I haven't blogged since Brennan was five. HE IS ELEVEN! But I have found that my heart loves to write and so one day I can look back and have a digital journal of what God has been up to and to hopefully reflect on the GOOD that has happened in the last five years amidst all the HARD. Stay tuned for updates!joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-87314739432209556182013-11-15T11:25:00.000-08:002019-08-31T09:34:47.653-07:00To work or not to work..JULYSo I promised to tell of July and the last post gave way to this naturally so here goes.<br />
Brennan turned fine in May. With all my sentimental teacher being I wanted to buy school supplies, await excitedly to see who his teacher would be, get new shoes and a lunch box...I considered the private classical school here in town that I did a maternity leave at last year, I went to talk with some of my past co workers at our public school about registering and then it happened. All roads pointed right and I was looking left. Everyone was encouraging my ability to teach. And as I evaluated all that it would mean schedule wise for us to enroll him I realized, it just makes sense to teach him myself this year. I could not even voice the words homeschool. The first week was scary and then I got a phone call..<br />
It was the headmaster of the classical school and sparing details he was very accommodating and considerate. This school had offered me a job before and as I prayed about it this was God's answer .<br />
I was lead to John 21 through my daily bible reading schedule, through our women's group book and through my utmost for his highest daily reading. Fr three days God kept bringing me to John 21. So what does it say and how did that relate? It is still a BEAUTIFUL reminder to me. I will paraphrase. It was after Jesus' death and resurrection, the disciples were fishing.<br />
Thy weren't catching anything.<br />
Jesus called to them asking how it was going.<br />
They relayed their unsuccessful-ness.<br />
He told them put your net on the right side of the boat.<br />
They were 'not able to haul it in because of the quantity'.<br />
Jesus fixes breakfast for them.<br />
He asks Peter if he loves him more than these and then he gives him three commands.<br />
1. Feed my lambs<br />
2. Tend for (take care of) my sheep<br />
3. Feed my lambs<br />
If your mind works like mine you may already see God's answer to me but if not, I will explain. The disciples were previously (before God's special call on their lives during Christ' time on earth) fishermen. So after His death it appears they returned to their previous occupation maybe by habit, maybe for security, maybe for money, maybe because of doubt, maybe they just needed some specific reminding of who they were and who they had been with. And God meets them there. And HE asks how their attempts at taking care of themselves was going. They report not well, and he gives them an instruction (throw your nets to the other side). The instruction gives them a quantity of provision so large they could not hold it. Then he speaks directly, intentionally and personally to Peter. Asking "Do you love me more than these?"<br />
Now I have only dug into a few commentaries to figure out the "these" referred to but it either means more than the fish he just caught (identifying him with his familiar dependence on fish as a means of livelihood) or more than the other disciples love Jesus. Most refer to the second option. No matter- Jesus is questioning his loyalty to CHRIST. What happens next is beautiful. He says feed my sheep, take care of their most basic needs-FEED them.<br />
Jesus called to me in my efforts to figure things out on my own, asked how it was going after my answer of not very well he gave me an instruction and in following it I have found provision so large I can hardly contain it. He affirmed his call on my life by asking me the same question "do you love me more than these- more than teaching, more than an money- more than security? His answer rings loudly "Feed them (breakfast, pb&j and supper everyday)- caring for these three little peoples basic needs.. and then I pictured my 1990s Holman Bible Jesus dressed in white with a white sheet over his head dressed in blue smiling and handing me a His Word and with gentleness in his eyes-feed them THIS.."<br />
And so I didn't take that job. And I've been feeding my lambs and caring for them and teaching them his word ever since....<br />
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<br />joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-47333174101875164002013-10-24T10:56:00.000-07:002019-09-01T04:41:25.421-07:00School<br />
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I am aware that this is very tardy in posting.</div>
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I have been "unplugged" since our move to the country in June and we just had satellite Internet installed this week. I must say it has been a welcome break but I have had my phone. It is just extremely difficult to post and entire paragraph or more on my little phone. So this has been saved on the iPad for months. It is more a record for me.. as I always say but maybe it will encourage you as well.<br />
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HOME</div>
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Would I have it any other way?</div>
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I get tired of waking up early</div>
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Fixing breakfast instead of getting girlie.<br />
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No make up for 90% of the day</div>
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Workout clothes, ponytail-do I like it this way?</div>
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Diapers, nursing, meals and more</div>
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Cleaning, recleaning, demand galore.<br />
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Snuggles, naptime all is quiet</div>
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Bible journal pen and blanket.</div>
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Dog barks, door knocks. Fed ex- perfect timing.</div>
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Should I keep up the effort or just stop trying?<br />
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Life for Jesus is worth more</div>
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That is what His word says ore and ore.</div>
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So is teaching at an institute </div>
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Really what I want to do?<br />
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Are these souls in my tender care</div>
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Worth me not going back there?</div>
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NO more grading papers</div>
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No more laminating-no more staples?<br />
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Is it possible to return one day someway</div>
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Without the sacrifice of their fate?</div>
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For to stay at home does not insure</div>
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Escape from hell or pain endured.<br />
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Of this I'm much aware</div>
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But how much about this should I care?</div>
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God's love and promises are true</div>
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THEY are what save me, save you.<br />
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I want to do what is best for all</div>
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I'm aware my work's not small.</div>
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No other hands could care and feed</div>
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With this much love, for each little seed.<br />
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I want to stay. I want to go</div>
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I miss a job, nice clothes, payroll.</div>
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But it's not the money we all know that</div>
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It's also nice benefits getting fat.<br />
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But what need of that-it will not last</div>
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What are those in eternity past?</div>
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I say 'I do the work of Christ' </div>
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But is homemaker, mama, wife</div>
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Truly what I "only" do?<br />
"Only" isn't fair I know</div>
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It's their souls I water, GOD makes grow.<br />
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But if I can't save them- why must I stay </div>
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It's not my work its Yours You say.</div>
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But my job in this I want to know</div>
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Is it only to OUR kids I go?<br />
<br /></div>
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Are there others in need of grace</div>
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In need of discipline and education base?</div>
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Who need to learn how to read</div>
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To know their sin and awful need?<br />
Of you-Oh Savior-strong and true.</div>
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Of long vowels and counting by twos.<br />
<br /></div>
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Is home my workplace til I die?</div>
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Will more jobs be offered by and by?</div>
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Will you show me without a doubt</div>
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If this is my mission field or if I should stretch out.<br />
<br /></div>
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I ask myself in retrospect </div>
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if I went back what would I expect?</div>
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Looking on the the last five plus a few something's</div>
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Would I have taken a job, would I change a thing?</div>
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No not a moment not a second of yet.</div>
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Each chaotic day full of tears-no regret.<br />
<br /></div>
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I'm glad I've been here to correct or wipe away</div>
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Each boo-boo, argument and wanting ones own way.</div>
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To teach, to train, to learn alongside</div>
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Whew! It's been a crazy ride!<br />
<br /></div>
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From nurse all day-pray all night</div>
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Wanting everything just right</div>
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To someone help me! what have I done?!</div>
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Now there's two not just one.<br />
<br /></div>
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Demands all around no time to breathe </div>
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YOU brought me beyond the strength of me.</div>
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To YOU I lean, to YOU I ,call </div>
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Faithful always-oh I bawl.<br />
<br /></div>
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On your kindness I depend</div>
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For child #3 you did send</div>
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Screaming crying will not eat</div>
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Three other mouths I need to feed.</div>
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Spit up, sit up oh there's more</div>
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That's what's dried up on the floor.<br />
<br /></div>
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Doctor, doctor hospital too.</div>
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Oh to find what's wrong with you.</div>
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Thank you Jesus for Nutramigen </div>
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And for this mama to sleep again.<br />
<br /></div>
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Grace poured out 2013</div>
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Thank you for a slate that's clean</div>
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New home new place new hope </div>
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I have let go of many a rope</div>
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That bound me to a schedule, to order; to ME.<br />
<br /></div>
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Thank you for cutting each carefully.</div>
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Work on Lord Jesus! Change my heart!</div>
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You always know just where to start.<br />
<br /></div>
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I would not rather be at school.</div>
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Than see my child learn the catechism rules.</div>
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I would NOT rather leave each morn,</div>
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Than see imagination all reborn:</div>
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In dress up clothes and Lego messes. </div>
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In Jesus loves me and you're the bestest.<br />
<br /></div>
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I choose to stay. I like my choice, </div>
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To be with my girl, to be with my boys.</div>
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So I ask indeed would I have it any other way?</div>
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No, I just need fresh grace each day.<br />
<br /></div>
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July 5,2013</div>
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PSALM 16: 5-6 </div>
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The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup you hold my lot.</div>
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The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, indeed I have a beautiful inheritance.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-90266152859223516672013-08-22T18:09:00.002-07:002013-08-22T18:09:26.337-07:00catch up <!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jan-June</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I really have had multiple times where I wanted to blog
but time did not allow. I am determined to get this back up and running. so I
am summarizing . Again this is more for myself than anyone so that I have a
type of journal of life these days but if it helps, encourages or makes you
laugh, hooray.,. it has an expanded purpose! please share your thoughts., like
circumstances or any helpful feedback!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Here goes a catch up on 2013.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In January we went to Paris France. Of all the people in the
world I was not the most excited about this journey. I do not keep up with
fashion (at least not to the international extent) so the shopping did not
intrigue me. I don’t care much for architeture<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and I don’t remember much world history about France. So you
know…I wasn’t the most<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>thrilled
of<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>passengers headed that way. I
also had a paranormal fear that something was going to happen to both of us and
someone else was going to have to raise our kids. (probably because my husband
decided to have<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>last will and
testament drawn up the day before we were to leave-yep that’s the day we signed
it!)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thoroughly enjoyed my visit with our friends we were there
to serve but it was not at all a ‘romantic’ trip as we were in a small
apartment with a family of five plus us <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In February we had an abnormal amount of sunshine and warmth
and I enjoyed that I was alive and not dead and actually did get to be the one
to raise our hoojans- I dare say a much needed perspective..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
IN March we boarded another plane to Mexico. This, I was I
lot more excited about- warmer weather -sunshine instead of gloom and snow and
cold of Paris. There were palm trees and an all-inclusive resort that the bride
put us up in as part of Bens payment for the wedding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could have stayed there forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They had a turn down service at night and wouldn’t let you
lift a finger…a far cry from home yall! I got to take a bath in a tub for the
first time in about 5 years and I got to swim without having anyone in a life
jacket with swimmies attached to each appendage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got to go for a run on the beach and it wasnt just because
someone needed to pee<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>or
poop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
all this time our house was for sale. yes our beloved
home for the last 7 years. the one each baby came home form the hospital to.
the one with a front yard swing and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>6 sugar maples and adorable<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>aging neighbors. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In April we got a lot of calls and had a lot of showings. we
got an offer. I was torn. I decided I didn’t want it to sell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ben took the offer.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In May we signed a contract.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We started to pray about leaving Athens all together,. We
decided to move in my parents’ guest house until we could decide where to live.
We interviewed with the international mission board. we got turned down because
we could not articulate a specific call to frontier missions only. We started
to ask some big questions about our life and how it should look for the next 7
years.</div>
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I started having pain after eating or exercise. I went to
the doctor and was scheduled for emergency removal of my gallbladder. We had to
be our of the house in four days. I couldn’t lift the kids any of them or a
box. I stayed up the night before the surgery til midnight packing .<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On Friday after the surgery my dear friend called. I will
spare you the long srory but God was generous to them in the<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>buying of their new home and they
wanted to be generous to us and offered their hosue to us at bottom dollar. it
fit our needs perfectly. four bedrooms. two acres, close enough to town..on the
Knoxville side of Athens. we decided that was our answer to stay or leave. we
bough the house. </div>
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stay tuned for July it was a doozy!</div>
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joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-23879278810410033242013-06-27T10:37:00.001-07:002013-10-24T10:53:24.528-07:00SchoolI am aware that this is very tardy in posting.<br />I have been "unplugged" since our move to the country in June and we just had satellite Internet installed this week. I must say it has been a welcome break but I have had my phone. It is just extremely difficult to post and entire paragraph or more on my little phone. So this has been saw din the iPad for months. It is more a record for me as I always say but maybe it will encourage you as well.<br />Would I have it any other way?<br />I get tired of waking up early<br />Fixing breakfast instead of getting girlie.<br />No make up for 90% of the day<br />Workout clothes, ponytail-do I like it this way?<br />Diapers, nursing, meals and more<br />Cleaning, recleaning, demand galore.<br />Snuggles, naptime all is quiet<br />Bible journal pen and blanket.<br />Dog barks, door knocks;Fed ex has perfect timing.<br />Should I keep up the effort or just stop trying?<br />Life for Jesus is worth more<br />That is what His word says ore and ore.<br />So is teaching at an institute <br />Really what I want to do?<br />Are these souls in my tender care<br />Worth me not going back there?<br />NO more grading papers<br />No more laminating no more staples?<br />Is it possible to return one day someway<br />Without the sacrifice of their fate?<br />For to stay at home does not insure<br />Escape from hell or pain endured.<br />Of this sadly i am aware<br />But how much about this should I care?<br />Gods love and promises are true<br />THEY are what save me, save you.<br />I want to do what is best for all<br />I'm aware my work's not small.<br />N other hands could care and feed<br />With this much love, a mamas seed.<br />I want to stay I want to go<br />I miss a job, nice clothes, payroll.<br />But it's not the money we all know that<br />It's just nice benefits getting fat.<br />But what need of that?-it will not last<br />What are those in eternity past?<br />I say 'I do the work of Christ' <br />But is homemaker, mama, wife<br />Truly what I "only" do? "Only" isn't fair I know<br />It's their souls I water, You make grow.<br />But if I cant save them why must I stay <br />It's not my work its yours you say.<br />But my job in this I want to know<br />Is it only to OUR kids I go?<br />Are there others in need of grace<br />In need of discipline and education base?<br />Who need to learn how to read<br />To know their sin and awful need?<br />Of you-o savior-strong and true.<br />Of long vowels and counting by twos.<br />Is home my workplace til I die?<br />Will more jobs be offered by and by?<br />Will you show me without a doubt<br />If this is my mission field or if I should stretch out.<br />I ask myself in retrospect <br />if I went back what would I expect?<br />Looking on the the last five plus a few something's<br />Would I have taken a job, would I change a thing?<br />No not a moment not a second of yet.<br />Each chaotic day full of tears-no regret.<br />I'm glad I've been here to correct or wipe away<br />Each boo-boo, argument and wanting ones own way.<br />To teach, to train, to learn alongside<br />Whew! It's been a crazy ride!<br />From nurse all day-pray all night<br />Wanting everything just right<br />To someone help me! what have I done?!<br />Now there's two not just one.<br />Demands all around no time to breathe <br />YOU brought me beyond the strength of me.<br />To YOU I lean, to YOU I ,called <br />Faithful always-oh I bawled.<br />On your kindness I depend<br />For child #3 you did send<br />Screaming crying will not eat<br />Three other mouths I need to feed.<br />Spit up sit up oh there's more<br />That's what's dried up on the floor.<br />Doctor, doctor hospital too.<br />Oh to find what's wrong with you.<br />Thank you Jesus for nutramigen <br />And for this mama to sleep again. <br />Grace poured out 2013<br />Thank you for a slate that's clean<br />New home new place new hope <br />I have let go of many a rope<br />That bound me to a schedule, to order; to ME.<br />Thank you for cutting each carefully.<br />Work on lord Jesus! change my heart!<br />You always know just where to start.<br />I would not rather be at school.<br />Than see my child learn the catechism rules.<br />I would NOT rather leave each morn,<br />Than see imagination all reborn:<br />In dress up clothes and Lego messes. <br />In Jesus loves me and you're the bestest.<br />I choose to stay. I like my choice, <br />To be with my girl, to be with my boys.<br />So I ask indeed would I have it any other way?<br />No, I just need fresh grace each day.<br />July 5,2013<br />PSALM 16: 5-6 <br />The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup you hold my lot.<br />Th lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, indeed I have a beautiful inheritance.<br />joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-51148036566303262482013-06-08T09:05:00.002-07:002013-06-08T09:05:55.923-07:00The End of One ChapterLife is never easy, its never 'cut and dry'<div>
there are always loose strings; things left untied.</div>
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Our little life on Guille street has closed a chapter one</div>
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and a new life with more land and house has begun.</div>
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All three children coming home to that same blue room</div>
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learning to walk on those hard floors, to waddle, run, to ZOOM.</div>
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Many a burnt meal at first then mastering a seven day plan</div>
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I cooked better meals for all when it wasnt just me and my man.</div>
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Something about a baby's cries all the time you prepare</div>
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will make a better tasting meal though you're not sure what's in your hair.</div>
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I cried almost as much as the babies did those three kids in three years,</div>
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God taught me a tons, and loved me lots through each and every tear.</div>
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The last year there was for the worst, you know that part of your vow?</div>
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I'd thought before 12 was unlucky for me, but I know it is now.</div>
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2012, I'm glad you're gone, welcome 2013. </div>
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Im excited about what's next though its rough this month in between.</div>
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No house, no home, storage holds it all.</div>
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I have had so much rest, i feel like a man at a mall.</div>
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You know the ones on the bench, waiting for their girl</div>
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lots of watching, lots of waiting, the world going by in a swirl.</div>
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Decisions are made about school and work, when and where.</div>
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I have actually had time to fix my hair. </div>
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to take a shower, lay out in the sun, </div>
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read a book and listen to sermons.</div>
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Its amazing how much time I spend</div>
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cleaning house from beginning to end.</div>
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Help form grandma's joyful hands</div>
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make each day for kids seem like a dance.</div>
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I like this inbetween, this no home, no care</div>
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I think about life with a new kind of stare.</div>
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What will it be like to live somewhere new?</div>
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Where will I walk, what will they do?</div>
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With stairs to climb and a big yard to roam</div>
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Im sure it wont take long to make it a home.</div>
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Meals will be cooked in that fine shiny kitchen</div>
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Ben's work will look good hanging in the den.</div>
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Pictures of our kids, thats what i want as he asked what i need</div>
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Should i say baby gates, and cucumber seed?</div>
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A place for a garden, a place for each child</div>
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a big bath tub to soak off the wild.</div>
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Oh LORD, give us grace, the same as before,</div>
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as we start a new chapter and open a door.</div>
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June 2013</div>
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joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-50121573662906939182013-06-01T20:16:00.002-07:002013-06-08T09:30:15.924-07:00Ramblings...on life and JOB (in the bible)<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Noteworthy; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">It seems everyone is blogging. There are blogs about everything under the sun. There are blogs about motherhood, housecleaning, cooking, home design, money saving. It's endless and can send my mind into a whirlwind faster than Pinterest (which I do love).</span></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I get down on my blogging efforts and want to give up and then kind friends encourage me by letting me know that at some point my words on here have brought life and maybe even encouragement. So hooray and thank you ladies for those spontaneous acts of love to get me back on here.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I have had a very restful two weeks. Almost too restful to the point I am ready to DO something. After a surprising gallbladder removal surgery I was unable to lift any of the kids (or boxes) and in the middle of a move that has been impossible so our time in Alabama has been a must. But I am ready to go home. To have a sense of home again, other than my moms. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I have been grossly reminded of the temporaries of all existence here on earth these last few weeks and like the old gospel song "I'm just living in my temporary home". No matter whether that's for three weeks or three years or thirty...</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I want to leave you with something more than just my ramblings and life facts. Have been "chewing on" these verses from job 22. "Can man be any benefit to God? Is it an asset to the Almighty if you are righteous? Does HE gain if your conduct is perfect?" I want to point out some things that these verses taught me.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> First some background/context of the entire book of JOB:</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> Job is in turmoil. His life is falling completely apart and his well meaning, believing, philosophical friends talk with him regularly about his life,his condition. They think they are wise. They know a lot of theologically sound things about God. They feel the need to call Job to repentance several times. The book records his confessions/arguments and conversations with said friends. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">This scripture is one of those. Job has just pointed out that God does things we can't explain or understand and the verses i posted are his friends' response to Job. They go on to say some things that are "off track" about Job's situation, because they were unaware of Gods purpose in Job 's suffering and Gods allowing of the enemy to touch Job; but to dwell on these verses I see something huge. Something big. A least for me. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Unexplainable things happen. Kindergarten students loose their lives to a killer, entire schools loose life to a tornado, strong Christian parents loose kids to drugs, babies die in miscarriages. We look at God and we don't understand. We see hard things. We look at our own lives and circumstances and we are overwhelmed, bewildered, confused. We try, oh we try hard to perform, to please. To do good enough, for God, for parents, for teachers and friends. We have endless checklists (or at least I do) of things to do "right" so that God is 'happy' with me and blesses me and is pleased. That he claps and stands happily in heaven at my performances. I stress, oh I stress, over my kids' behavior (or misbehavior) I grow weary over trying to figure out mans' responsibility amidst Gods sovereign order. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">That is why I think these verses are huge. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">1. Can man be any benefit to God? </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">First i have to wonder..Did God exist completely, happily and perfectly before man was created? YES. (Genesis 1:1, John 1:1, Hebrews 1:1 So o</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;">ur creation was not for HIS benefit, but for ours. Throughout the bible we read that we are made so that we may know of his love, of his master plan of salvation available to all men. To feel his grace, his mercy, his pardon so that he may thouroughly display his goodness to us..</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">This is not to say man cannot do works that benefit His KINGDOM, for our efforts to share the gospel do indeed benefit. Benefit who? Man. Once again we see man benefitting man because of God, but no real benefit to God. For he did not have to create man, but he did. For the purpose of salvation to be to our benefit.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">2. Is it an asset to the almighty if you are righteous? </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Romans 3</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">None of us is righteous. That is clear through out the bible. So is it a credit (to some account) of God if we are? Remember Abraham? Looking for 10 righteous people? If he found them-was it God that benefited? No. The people of Sodom. THEY benefitted because of Gods mercy in not destroying them if they were found righteous. As do we.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">But God? Fully righteous Jeremiah 9:23-24/psalm 118:142 </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;">In need of no ones additional righteousness. Can He work through our righteous acts? Yes but still it is He at work..for:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">3. Does he gain if our conduct is perfect?</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">As previously established. It is not. No ones conduct is perfect. None of us can claim that status or ability. But say it were..play along with me and let's 'pretend' if my conduct/behavior were blameless and I did only good all the time would God gain something? If we gave credit to him for allowing us ability to behave perfectly and claimed his help and sustenance through each temptation towards straying from Perfect conduct...AND we confessed our constant prayers to him for help and ability to continue and our desperate need of him, say <i>then</i> would God gain? </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I say: he would gain <i>glory</i>, but it would add nothing to his already perfect state. It doesn't say that WE are perfect, only our conduct(behavior) because he knows that no one other than GOD could be completely perfect in all of their being. GOD pointed out Job's uprightness to satan in Chapter one. He was aware of Jobs response in the end from the beginning. He did indeed gain glory and still does today when we like JOB, Like JESUS, point all good things as coming not from ourselves. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">By thinking any good comes from us (John 3:27, James 1:17) we would rob God glory for his giving us the ability. (but this is something that sadly i do..why do I constantly want praise?!)</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I believe here is a reminder for me in my parenting. That my children's behavior is not to my credit. If it be good-It is a gift from God. It is a testament to His goodness and mercy. In giving me wisdom in how to teach them to behave and/or in giving <i>them</i> strength to act in accordance with any training or instruction we may have given. It is all to his credit and glory. And it benefits me to know that neither mine, nor my children's behavior alters God eternal perfect being. He is and will forever be perfect. He is and forever will be the only one who acts good in all things at all times. He is and will forever be the only one who gives to any of us that we may benefit. I am instructed to train my children in righteousness, to talk constantly about God, his word, his work. May I recognize his perfect existence is independent of my imperfect behavior as a parent. may i depend strongly on him for teaching me and my children how to act in righteousness. His work is complete in creation, the cross and eternity future. His behavior towards me and all mankind is just and righteous though ours is not. He is good. Is is the only true good one (mark 10:8) </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">There is a ton of theology in Job. Deep theology. Hard theology. Rich truths and chewy truths. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">This post is not about things I (or you) need to DO or me NOT parenting my child. It is simply the ramblings of a believing mommy on things about God and His word. ramblings...thoughts..this blog is for me..to record things I'm learning...to journal..to remember...SO</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">...Feel free to look over all my ramblings and just look at the pictures :) (when i get them posted:)</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">But if you want to join in and share..tell me..What verses/chapters encourage you when you wrestle with Gods sovereignty and mans responsibility?</span></span></div>
joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-26366832041878924412013-02-20T11:32:00.001-08:002013-02-20T11:32:56.624-08:00Dinner DateI will try to get pictures up sooooon.... But the other night Ben took Molly out for valentines day and the boys took me out. It was just dessert at the bare family cafe at the end of our street but it was very very sweet! Thy payed for our cones with money from their wallets. They opened the doors for me and Brennan even pulled out my chair. Here was our dessert conversation:<br />
KNOX:<br />
What are you going to be when you grow up?<br />
A farmer<br />
Where are you going to live?<br />
In a barn in Alabama close to nana and papa<br />
What are your favorite foods?<br />
Tomatoes, apples, and yogurt<br />
What is your favorite thing to do outside?<br />
Ride my bike<br />
What is your favorite toy?<br />
My blocks<br />
Who do you enjoy spending time with?<br />
Daddy and papa<br />
Who are you going to marry when you grow up?<br />
Molly<br />
What is your favorite color?<br />
Pink<br />
What are you going to drive?<br />
A red jeep<br />
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BRENNAN:<br />
What are you going to be when you grow up?<br />
A. Builder<br />
Where are you going to live?<br />
In a house I built in Africa<br />
Who are is going to be your wife?<br />
Gabby<br />
What are your favorite foods?<br />
Corn,bananas, and chocolate<br />
What is your favorite thing to do outside?<br />
Dig in the dirt<br />
What is yourfavorite toy?<br />
My Legos<br />
Who do you enjoy spending time with the most?<br />
Gabby<br />
What is your favorite color?<br />
Gold<br />
What are you going to drive when you grow up?<br />
An orange tow truck with green and gold and black on it<br />
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...so for the record...there it is fellas. I'm sure you're going to get a kick out of that one day!!<br />
<br />joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-16860360323540487372013-02-16T07:24:00.000-08:002013-02-16T07:24:19.937-08:00This Certain SweetnessHave you ever imagined life without you? I have always loved watching 'Its a Wonderful Life' each Christmas. You know the part when James Stewart kisses the broken staircase post? That is the sweetness I am talking about.<div>
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Before we left for Paris (and we have a Mexico wedding in March) we decided it would be wise to write a will. (And my mom said she wouldn't keep our kids unless i did!) So we knew we needed to for many months, but waited until the last minute to write it. So the day before we left in a large airplane to cross the ocean and be away from our kids for seven days, we signed all the legal documents. We walked through who would 'get' our kids. Where they would be raised, go to school, LIVE without us...if we didn't live. Not an easy task and very disturbing to the soul and therefore testing my soul to the highest degree before the Lord. Did i trust HIm to do what is for my ultimate best and also our children? I had to. </div>
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Needless to say when we touched down in Nashville eight days later I wanted to hug our pilot who flew us back! And sing at the top of my lungs God Bless America!! </div>
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...AND...</div>
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those little rascals that make my life miserable and overwhelming were the sweetest little things I have ever laid eyes on!!! Each day of caring for them is precious, priceless, and an amazing privilege. I know what you may be thinking...That will wear off and you will get tired again and complain again..You are probably right. I probably will. But i feel like i was handed and unwrappable gift. The gift of a thousand tomorrows. That raising these three yahoos and knowing the "highs and lows" of each day for each kid. Hearing Molly learn to say I love you, watching Knox write his name for the first time. Listen to Brennan read his first list of -at words, is a gift I don't want to complain about, and that facing my fear of not coming home gave me joy for today...</div>
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<span style="color: magenta;">Today's little joy: Being alive to raise my kids</span></div>
joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-15628905147446535942013-02-03T12:39:00.000-08:002013-02-03T12:39:53.301-08:00im back!I have considered my reasons and decided to start this blog back up. I have had it set to 'private' for a long time now and only those of you who really tried have kept up with me through this blog.<br />
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And for those of you who haven't been here before- welcome. If you are really ambitious and have missed out on the recent years of my life want to read about my crazy life take a scan back through old posts...<br />
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But I am hoping to start this back up for a couple of reasons:<br />
1.) To keep a digital track of what these days are like for our family 2.) To journal, reflect and maybe even process on paper (or computer screen) things I am learning 3.) And finally to hopefully encourage you, the reader, with glimpses of joy, glimpses of chaos, and glimpses of grace in my journey of wifehood, motherhood, and well just plain ole adulthood.<br />
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So to start off a quick glimpse into 2013.<br />
Brennan is four...FOUR yay! All those mamas who are sad about growing up I could probably learn a lesson from, but each year our children gain a little more independence of me it is exciting. I couldn't wait for them to learn to crawl, to walk, to talk, to feed themselves, dress themselves, take themselves to potty or wash their own hands...BIG milestones in the Finch house.<br />
He can now do all of the above.<br />
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Knox is three. It is the most amazing thing to watch the little boy he has progressed into just after the third birthday. I was thinking this morning its like Christ...two days (years) in the grave and now on the third he is ALIVE. sounds crazy but there have been many days I felt like I was in the grave during the first two years of his life. Through the prayers and hard work of not just family, but some amazing friends we are seeing a lot of beauty in his little passionate soul!<br />
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And little Miss Molly is almost TWO. Hooray! Time to get a little more agressive about potty training :) and I am joyfully watching her feed herself, speak words and interact with her brothers. Full of her own passion I look into parenting her with less glum and more fieceness after watching Knox turn three.<br />
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Ben and I just returned from Paris, France. So many people follow along on his blog that if there is anyone that didn't know that I would be surprised. Our life seems so public as everywhere I go in this small town people know me, our kids, Ben, and a lot of our business because of his blog. If you havent stumbled on it yet, check it out at <a href="http://finchphoto.com/blog/">http://finchphoto.com/blog/</a>.<br />
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Our house is for sale and we are embracing life with open arms as we wander into the future sight unseen.<br />
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Today everything has a certain sweetness that it hasn't had in a while..and I think I know why. Stay tuned to learn more!<br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta;">Today's Little Joy: All three kids piled up in our bed before the sun came up..looking out the window to see ginormous snowflakes falling.</span></span><br />
<br />joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-86313703962435693632012-09-09T20:14:00.002-07:002012-09-11T11:37:34.966-07:00Mask removedThere I was 9:30 am. at the library when it opened to return our books before I had to pay another $12 late fee. The double stroller is on its lt leg, as we bought it second hand. And Knox ready to get some water after the mile long walk down the hill. And it hit me, I was about to walk in a public place and had never even looked in the mirror since I woke up. Wow you say. I couldn't imagine doing that. That's extreme. Joy you say, you are taking this stay at home mom thing a little to serious, you need to take care of YOU.<br />
I admit I struggle between self sacrifice and self preservation. But you may not have looked in the mirror either if only I could paint you the picture of literal blood, sweat and tears that took place from breakfast to getting library books and three kids ready to walk.<br />
I will spare you.<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"> God is gently helping me remove millions of layers of sin and pride. And just like without my make up its not that pretty. But it is beautiful on a deep level. Just like when your husband kisses you after hours of labor to get that 8 pound infant out of your body and he tells you how much he loves you-it's not beause of your gorgeous looks, it's a much deeper beauty. Thats how this is. </span><br />
Joy. What do yo uthink when you hear that word? Smiles, walmarts yellow happy face, daisies, balloons lots of ice cream.joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-82014627138709172782012-07-11T08:03:00.002-07:002012-07-11T08:03:43.911-07:00SuperwomanSuperwoman
dictionary.com defines a super woman as woman who copes successfully with the simultaneous demands of career, marriage and motherhood.
It started early. The pressure to perform, the pressure to " cope successfully with simultaneous demands." I can remember our first year of marriage crying over not knowing what to cook for dinner, not knowing what to even buy for ingredients, not knowing how to stock the pantry. My husband was working and going to school full time and I was student teaching. I did not cope well with the new demands of laundry and ironing for two, housekeeping, food preparation, lesson preparation and emotional involvement with a new husband.
It came again when I started my job as a sixth grade teacher. I was asked to tutor after school, to coach the junior high cheerleaders and be at all their games, on top of all the above listed responsibilities. Dinner needed to go beyond spaghetti and tacos as we were beginning to tire of the same options. Money was tight so I heard about couponing. Again, coping with simultaneous demands was overwhelming, but everyone kept saying that it was doable that I was capable. I was not.
It hit its worst when I had three little ones in thirty nine months. I had to do all things for them. No one could wipe themselves, pour their own drink, and at least one of them needed to be held to get from place to place. That is on top of all the above listed responsibilities. And I FAILED. I could not successfully cope with all the simultaneous demands. Praise God because THAT is when I learned of grace.
We all have our own ideas of what superwoman looks like. Maybe she has a vest with a big S on a perfectly sculpted body and rescues people. Maybe she cooks gourmet meals or saves millions with couponing. Maybe she uses cloth diapers and makes homemade bread. Maybe she has as clean house and helps her husband with his business. Maybe her kids are always obedient and generous. Maybe she appears to have successfully coped with all life has thrown at her.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak then I am strong."
God's superwoman looks different than yours or mine. She is aware of her weakness. In fact she delights in it. For she has learned that every time she tries to "cope successfully" with life's demands ALONE she will most likely fail and God will allow her to. Just like he allowed Peter to fall in the water when he took his eyes off the Lord (Matthew 14), just like he allowed Peter to fail in his claims to devotion to the Lord(John 13) to the point of denying the Lord (John 18). Then he will point out that failure just like he did to Peter in John 21. Peter was trying to succeed without the Lord. He was self reliant. Just like me in my efforts to be superwoman.
If you study Peter you will find he is very passionate, he loves Jesus, and Jesus COMPLETELY redeemed all failure in Peter. As He will with you and me. That is the amazing thing about his grace. It IS sufficient for each failed attempt at superwoman. And we can delight in our failure, our weakness, allowing it to reveal our need for a perfect superman-JESUS- who CAN cope PERFECTLY with the simultaneous demands of my life. Not only that but who covered all my mistakes with his perfect work on the cross and by his wounds I have been healed (1 peter 1:24). I can cast all my cares on him because he cares for me (1 Peter 5:7) and he has provided me with everything I need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3).
Don't you just love that those last few verses come from the very heart of Peter inspired by the Holy Spirit?! He learned the value of Christ's work on the cross, he learned to rely on Jesus in his weakness. He learned of God's sufficient grace. He learned of God's care for him. And that is what is waiting you and I when we give up our self sufficiency and superwoman status- a new awareness of God's grace, awareness of God's care, and reliance on someone who CAN take all the simultaneous demands.joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-44836225419186963182012-06-05T11:41:00.003-07:002012-06-05T18:22:01.061-07:00Back porch swingI love sharing my life with others. In the world of motherhood, it is quite difficult to have a conversation with adults. Most conversations are interrupted at least 5 times.
This blog is more than anything, a place for me to go back to and see what has happened in my own life. A place to record little happenings in our family, to place pictures, to put my thoughts into the abyss. I think I began to look at this blog as more than that and so it overwhelmed me, plus as I found out people that had read my-soul-poured-out on here I was afraid of their opinions. So I am starting back with a different goal.
I am laying here listening to our third born child babble- its hard to believe we actually have kids, but three WHOA! Today we celebrate EIGHT years of marriage. And I think my verdict is that this year, specifically, has been the one of the most difficult. Our precious ones given us our most challenging year as parents yet. Maybe that's one reason I haven't been blogging....My head has been too cluttered to process and absorb what is going on, much less record it.
But I have this renewed refreshed feeling that we are in a new season. I read Deuteronomy 8 today which is always the passage that God seems to give me to introduce to a new season. I was reminded of an incredible sermon by one of our pastors that talks about when God says you shall you shall and when God says HE will...He WILL.
So I will once again, record his faithfulness here on this blog. And if you want to come in and sit a while, I am inviting you to my back porch swing in your pjs to cry together, giggle together and to listen to my rambling heart.
"17 "If you say in your heart, 'These nations are greater than I. How can I dispossess them?' (i.e. 'this job of motherhood is too difficult for me, this job is greater than my strength')
18 you shall not be afraid of them but you shall remember what the LORD your God did to Pharaoh and to all Egypt,
19 the great trials that your eyes saw, the signs, the wonders, the mighty hand, and the outstretched arm, by which the LORD your God brought you out. So will the LORD your God do to all the peoples of whom you are afraid....
21 You shall not be in dread of them, for the LORD your God is in your midst, a great and awesome God.
22 The LORD your God will clear away these nations before you little by little." Deuteronomy 7:17-22
...little by little... The Lord my God WILL...help me Love my husband and raise these kids..joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-26467168522494694532012-01-27T17:01:00.000-08:002012-01-27T17:10:07.667-08:00The endI will be ending this blog. After a year of considering it I have decided not to blog like this anymore. <br /><br />Maybe you remember the days before the backspace button when if you typed or wrote something you could throw it in the trash and start over. Don't get me wrong I am a huge fan of the backspace button, but there have been many times that I have posted something and then after a day or two and after everyone's had read it, I wished I hadn't posted it. If that happens in conversation you can go back to the person and clarify or ask what they thought of what you said, but in the blog world you have no idea how many have read it.<br /><br />I began blogging to have a sort of record of these days of life so that I remember. At times I would however write knowing the reader would be reading...does that make sense? I will be creating an online journal at a different address. <br /><br />I am sort of sad about it because blogging has been a way of escape and a fulfillment of the desire to be known, but it is good. It is time.<br /><br />Stay tuned for an address, and please be patient it may be a while.joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-27494210996282334152012-01-26T17:53:00.001-08:002012-01-26T17:53:05.073-08:00January 2012a FACE a mother could LOVE:<br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/115278654133606794320/LittleJoys02?authkey=Gv1sRgCMH9n-3mzrCzeA#5702123806640836674'><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRzPIABaChZlYwHEaz5RO18ubAjzGOWWRSzDWcvtPd4gY1S_7i4t-ZVpLuenZ0dk7njLdbK_05yStgAezgpFuZW45zi79tPPg-L8aZ73sbKIPnDKjz5XPEXw2tlCoA70qMD8KdUNtngso/s288/0.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />My sweet baby Molly Lou<br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/115278654133606794320/LittleJoys02?authkey=Gv1sRgCMH9n-3mzrCzeA#5702123814818823922'><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkIWhcEQ3Ov8qaOl0sG5Vw5LorP2vbUUP09KJ5Ru8-tXlT1ic7njrOFJ5D9tnqDFeEYPDMVfxSFwuOVk53mLoZ50m6dsqrsNXOjpqHaph0S25bY3SvEIdsRLtfcroVTke1N6YUyrP_5DI/s288/2.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />Knoxie doodle ....what a little stinker<br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/115278654133606794320/LittleJoys02?authkey=Gv1sRgCMH9n-3mzrCzeA#5702123823263061394'><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAoUxAMFNto9U55PdqVLzdFrPIH3UKAaKVQulqpm-VSGwol8T0wfRca4VXdMgnRxybjPBDOFfuPW4PqlkahUrvcIU1YQvI_yiEA-CM8dGrbHxSbyvPaS7WRTSJEPnyYsc8_I2XwUAbrJ4/s288/1.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/115278654133606794320/LittleJoys02?authkey=Gv1sRgCMH9n-3mzrCzeA#5702123830337912338'><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5EN7JnAFuifQjHUGv9C_gmeYYaSjPIyoOgCmTnF-ugaByNAMQfejFcq-Ob7fmfbW-pK5MkQz3Povkzc1nNywM_6A_D4kl83FzhfGHpC-CD9pMb-WFF31y0gnDU8nokeXMFbGeEBgUeJg/s288/3.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/115278654133606794320/LittleJoys02?authkey=Gv1sRgCMH9n-3mzrCzeA#5702123846145775490'><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWj9EHYftdfW9WTlUaAN6zAPHqEk4npKk2f0SMZjIWg8tnlgwb70amvK3HmEPbCe_oAEq5ZqDgVFtNAeeGz-gUKf_eKVyKPowsVjTUL5qi3UIyv_2iCZ00DeDtgvRQnMWhEyBjgCRm12c/s288/4.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />And Super Brennan in his 'super' cape..his shirt says "I'm definitely up to something"<br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/115278654133606794320/LittleJoys02?authkey=Gv1sRgCMH9n-3mzrCzeA#5702123855187238882'><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjITnUdKZwtxahtbmSVDyopx3JCLnwCT6qHyOzStLD7uF5de4Djt4wObo6UUxEBDrMqsSQA1TiysRuIfcJgIjsm1rh4owkUVKg577zMuJ8HsOHjnVGSYZO7w99PmAaRHSW68upURCGWHvo/s288/5.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />Dress up boy style...<br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/115278654133606794320/LittleJoys02?authkey=Gv1sRgCMH9n-3mzrCzeA#5702123866361973890'><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq2EEv85d1sCyggwGho-qmUp5NksfxnX2EMabgjipf66MlLip4KagLBnlL_AsTwXoc8uP91_1o9rrwnupFsvn9uXwrtOCWR1IoR687AQasVg4Ar8UWla94nay4vNZXTH_hgG86o7HpnHg/s288/6.jpg' border='0' width='400' height='400' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/115278654133606794320/LittleJoys02?authkey=Gv1sRgCMH9n-3mzrCzeA#5702123873888548978'><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWGFDCqMJBak16Bvf6WH_UcnWZzf83Es70ySB1Qr8z_a6tlOg5d3vvumEU5nhu_f7U5phEvHv23_ucMSZglYiD36I6K5TKO5o0xqNZSlsxpaXhaQufDvQws-NA4ljMPOhE5jdxq6N36Ho/s288/7.jpg' border='0' width='400' height='400' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />It has rained entirely tooooooo much lately so the sun broke through the clouds and we dawned our rain boots and splashed in the puddles..I was okay with this because it was like 60 degrees outside..I LOVE this expression on knox's face!<br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/115278654133606794320/LittleJoys02?authkey=Gv1sRgCMH9n-3mzrCzeA#5702123880437725570'><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_EHJj3AQEoud1JWxMHRMd4FQdQj22gmFySNxekwcG6fmt4-K4HBoJKXkYeYC4VYmOvSRAXm9l6SDmqgQvOr4fpFUBRPKntOygVFmKqVEGrXnbK2g5ajjGUOA87AX-tUXfgTQozsgBa94/s288/8.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/115278654133606794320/LittleJoys02?authkey=Gv1sRgCMH9n-3mzrCzeA#5702123887946375074'><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMP_5-3lo-8mSsV56hn7NzatjcjirUsrmLZAplS4JpAxrwJk_wRhwqU5xATdBltMo5Hs0BmwmDpFQtyc-0Kspt9X49GSvSMNeZPumvckC1kguL_vC8gSVayab5-Z4ynFjmuIOZThzjfQQ/s288/9.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/115278654133606794320/LittleJoys02?authkey=Gv1sRgCMH9n-3mzrCzeA#5702123897106163266'><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMwO1lCQqubgTN94CLNKNTjVNRkFftKL-fsfeTUIAl0O7g_0Mbf29Ned09flBq8VBEcZBiA1Cac3rbyXfVipONXwC7cY5kQOUJWro876ZdZkyBk3kO-qHpqwhk0-MnRpBavQGNjEShksw/s288/10.jpg' border='0' width='400' height='400' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />And then inside or some homemade brownies...<br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/115278654133606794320/LittleJoys02?authkey=Gv1sRgCMH9n-3mzrCzeA#5702123905363840274'><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgReya0FKx5Mc6u5lPwbkx33AHXxpbRLlaTovTRambaJpzYpPvF4h-lbrZXjSlZXjLRcbu1opW0O7jUx3vqVczS18ahdpGk4Hz3kn5bdKrHaL3CgFyWaLOwf12D5sYs9ghdQgwo1jSkM2c/s288/11.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='210' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />Licking the bowl....<br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/115278654133606794320/LittleJoys02?authkey=Gv1sRgCMH9n-3mzrCzeA#5702123915391297570'><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQQU9LQw1mC7cLgRjo2T-FNpBZMnifnL5uWePyq5bz2TrG5T2fLuR8JL-tozc_Ehl3ZlxJ6qgXDFrzIwZBPLxCB5JxJ794HgdObBMs0C2nRSp3B9vspvex662D6oCOXucm3cKjryEjIeA/s288/12.jpg' border='0' width='400' height='400' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />And caring for sis<br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/115278654133606794320/LittleJoys02?authkey=Gv1sRgCMH9n-3mzrCzeA#5702123924917192850'><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHkqB5jyv1FzDwGjBzUmhwds0CAIL97vUhJDzueJPDJihbSAJHeKz5SpaMxcnFapOXIbJ10BY8oixvw5PG8v66QxMGzcJv3Zb5Q3QpJfwD4yc-R8HOP3cq1wy52RcMLcDiTdeEz7lOXpI/s288/13.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='210' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />Oh and art...<br />joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-37921549971739760512012-01-14T10:34:00.000-08:002012-01-14T10:56:00.291-08:00now and then..i am not going to apologize for it being so long since i updated this blog. it is part of my new years resolution to live with no worries, to consider less the thoughts others have of me and think of others more.<br />i am so VERY thankful to God for all of my precious friends. Some of you i keep up with on here, some through occasional phone dates, some through my mother. Still all of you are so amazing. REALLY. God has allowed me to meet and be a part of some truly amazing people. I have spent (wasted) time trying to make people who are in my life now, like some of you (bosom friends), but have come to the realization that i have been blessed beyond words with girls of outstanding character and depth. thank you for loving me despite my lack of both.<br />some of you are so good at writing or communicating that i feel like i am somewhat aware of the huge things God is doing or has done in your life, and i am not good at puting those things on paper (or type :). For now, i want to reflect back on the goodness of God in 2011:<br />1. Of course, he blessed us with a new addition to our family- a lively, perky, responsive little girl named MOLLY. <br />2. He gave us wise and quick acting doctors who found a way to relieve our family from 5 hours a day of crying and me of the weight of feeding a baby alone.<br />3. He gave us a way to connect to our church family and give us Christian fellowship IN ATHENS by providing a caregroup that meets right here in our home! (F.Y.I our church is 45 minutes away in Knoxville, we love it and benefit from it enough to make the drive)<br />4. He gave Ben a new office space, and the kids and i free reign of the house from 8-5! no more VP of universities being greeted by a half dressed todler!<br />5. He provided an amazing group of sisters to serve me and our children (and ultimately Ben too as i am not as desperate) one day a week.<br />6. He faithfully paid the bills and fed our children with hearty appetites EVERY MONTH, despite my lack of monetary contribution and Ben's unpredictable salary.<br />7. He got me out of my slump of post-babies-are all- i- do. I have been SO discouraged since Knox's birth that i found a strand of bitterness in my soul about pretty much all things. He is filling my heart with a new song and new found joy.<br />8. He got me running again. Seriously, i ENJOY exercise. I am not one that has to be dragged to the gym. I literally put on my sports bra everyday when i dress in hopes that at some point i will get to go for a quick run..and we are now members at our local YMCA that has childcare for $1.00 per hour. i have gotten to do a 10K three times a week since November. woo hoo. maybe i will get to do a half marathon next year after a 5 year wait!<br />9. He has given us water pressure in our shower (funny i know but a crummy way to start your day with a trickle of lukewarm water..especailly in winter!) We have no way of explaining the sudden burst other than answer to prayer!<br />10. We have begun family devotions of sort. (with a 2 year old its limited!)<br />11. Ben has had opportunity to lead worship as a volunteer for our family nights at church. It is such a blessing to have him leading me in worship to our God together once again. He is my favorite worship leader and i think has a special anointing form God in that area.<br />So 2011 in hindsight for you?joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-13068110411042489162011-12-15T17:11:00.000-08:002011-12-17T16:42:44.208-08:00The latestI just got the best Christmas gift ever yesterday! A day out with the three kiddos.<br />Molly had her appointment in Knoxville at children's hospital yesterday morning so we decided to make a day of it..and as fun of a day as we could.<br />The doctor told us she was all better and her intestines were on the mend. Still a little blood in the stool from inflammation of the stomach tissues and esophagus lining, but X-rays were clear, no malformation or disfunction! She did fabulous and so did her brothers waiting on her turn and being helpful opening doors for me as I pushed her stroller.<br />Then we had a blast at West Town mall. We had "chik a lake" according to Knox, for lunch, then we rode the train that goes through the mall called " the bumble bee express" (gotta love that as much as these boys sing "bringing home a baby bumble bee"! ) Then we went to the disney store and bought their cousins Christmas gift, and got a baby dip of ice cream at the marble slAb to share. And folks with three little ones that took us THREE HOURS!!!!!!! Then our exhausted little munchkins fell sound asleep on the way home and stayed that way as I put them in their beds and woke them at 4:15 so that bedtime wouldn't be too late.<br />I am a last minute Christmas shopper and confess I have SEVEN more gifts to purchase.<br />We leave Wednesday for Alabama and I am getting ready to see everyone .<br />Bens new office space is coming along great...all the rooms and trim are painted, the carpet is ripped up, the floors need to be sanded and refinished (a job my dad is coming to help with) so pray for his eyes! <br />Our days are turning sweeter around here, for that I am rejoicing beyond imagintion...you should see my happy dance! Thankful to God for seeing us through every season and for his grace and kindness today!joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-56423474308850985072011-12-07T18:28:00.001-08:002011-12-07T18:28:30.096-08:00A visit to papa and nana's <p class='bloggerplus_text_section' align='left'>We went to my parents about a month ago and I am just now getting photos up..</p><p class='bloggerplus_image_section'><div class='bloggerplus_image_section' align='center' ><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgap47raIuZbDMjZ_63TxWghMLwMb4t61Nw2qmZZTgFC6Y-phnJ6Ckv4Swk7AybFPfD0yv1ZAh4Jw4NjyeVb6LOYMpT7desgNpELsm2D4ok9-_HE9SKCTL9Kq3xlvxcQWUTCLYtdoKI0u4/' ></img></div></p><p class='bloggerplus_text_section' align='left'>Here is Molly with her 12 days younger cousin Amy kate.. Or as Knox calls her "amy cake"...</p><p class='bloggerplus_image_section'><div class='bloggerplus_image_section' align='center' ><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizx4MHKoG6-Jj01XDc_0zspfrvyALTZVZER8jcVtlox8OewW3-5DV1202vVvagE_h5oQMbi5bNwfZWnw4s0v52gfGBiF0kln-JElGhvMOE3A8R0V6jQfGf8a0cN0RS5bVo8Mo6tdMwcoI/' ></img></div></p><p class='bloggerplus_text_section' align='left'>And Molly with her papa who calls her his angel...gotta love that look on her face!</p><p class='bloggerplus_image_section'><div class='bloggerplus_image_section' align='center' ><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8iQ10vFRC01bgH7zkdFWyA-c7yhpVlKtT-ZdSZngT4pzQBub6rU66XRB2lkJmCQjJX0wq5YrZUk9cgq9kBAQyvLPPSt7PDd5ChZnW1-CAHV_naDL_MRtk2YzMKSoxHNPGsyynk5wW9uE/' ></img></div></p><p class='bloggerplus_text_section' align='left'>We celebrated Charlie's birthday while we were there because his birthday lands on thanksgiving this year..here is Hope and here two girls..</p><p class='bloggerplus_image_section'><div class='bloggerplus_image_section' align='center' ><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYltAb2DePxURg6pr5hmxama6JLchvoZoqmhtnYXOxiAAr2w92cB8LjRAfcOpRNWzB_RAl4xslF_HGzO6eKfEZKTSfAyzFR9q-7tb1pCb1wqKqguGnJ4sksnNixcrMuAIgP1Jqmy90iSw/' ></img></div></p><p class='bloggerplus_text_section' align='left'>My dad managed to construct a wagon for the grand kids to ride in so that we had a real live hayride while we were there. It was a hit!</p><p class='bloggerplus_image_section'><div class='bloggerplus_image_section' align='left' ><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVrRpWwZtRtBd65tIX8-yzHPD8mSVP37ZYbLeKl0iCJGKS1kO_fH5sXYpEct1M1A-hN3wcNJBchNp57mu9O60iVs9Tyy8JQQn2SQckxJAX8rPXJ1oOjpT1NfIFDkdj6GAOtLAc0gaovz8/' ></img></div></p><p class='bloggerplus_image_section'><div class='bloggerplus_image_section' align='left' ><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsKKSBZ9SGGpYk445iHWQoIwS-JqJdTJgjbbNp0tJ-iDH9xFrTfKzkzYh-1thraNVb8k446-D_5NDBy7yq1qBVsXAbYoUf-AQXga9FGnKR2dFrM-pzV8PaAM8ldDZRfgJvaUPVVeg6_DI/' ></img></div></p><p class='bloggerplus_text_section' align='left'>Here we are on our Annual trip to Mayfield Farm on Halloween. We dress up and go enjoy the festivities and then come home to go door to door with our three neighbors. You gotta look T the expression on knox's face. He was Molly's age last year when we did the hayride so i Asked him what he thought, he said it was "bumpy".</p><p class='bloggerplus_text_section' align='left'></p>joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-85885373089915572252011-11-29T16:57:00.000-08:002011-11-29T17:25:56.521-08:00UsYou are forever in my life<br />You see me through the seasons<br />Cover me with Your hand<br />And lead me in Your righteousness<br /><br />And I look to You<br />And I wait on You<br /><br />I'll sing to You Lord<br />A hymn of Love<br />For Your faithfulness to me<br />I'm carried in everlasting arms<br />You'll never let me go<br />Through it all<br /><br />-Hill songs Through it All-<br /><br />We are still so filled wth thanks at the improvement in Molly. Knox has shown improvement in the bedtime issues as we consistently discipline. Brennan has returned to his more usual self, although three is quite the testing stage..to God be the glory for tidbits of rest we are receiving! Just doing formula instead of nursing is a HUGE break for me. B feeding always drains me in the most powerful way. More than being pregnant. Yes really. I usually feel great during pregnancy..just not while nursing, I literally feel like the babies suck the life out of me. My skin looses luster, I loose all my baby weight and then some, I have dark circles under my eyes..so although I may have to fight the flab extra hard this time, I am feeling more energetic and lively since she has been on the bottle.<br />Now, for another HUGE answer to prayer, while talking with a friend the other night I was reminded of a very dear little family here in Athens that has three older teenage daughters. They are/ were home schooled and may have time available during the mornings and/ or regular school hours. I called their mom out of sheer desperation to see if she might be willing to lend me one or two of them occasionally for help with the kids and or the home. You will be awed by our Gods kindness as you hear her response:<br />Joy! This is unbelievable we are doing a Book study with their girls called "preparing to be his helpmeet" ( read more <a href="http://http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/general-view/archive/2010/february/08/preparing-to-be-a-help-meet-new-book/">here</a>) <br />My husband and I have discussed how we feel it would be beneficial to have them kind of ' intern ' with a young wife and mom..<br />Wow! If that is not God's hand at work? You can read about them <a href="http://threemaidens.blogspot.com">here</a><br />We start on Thursday I am so thrilled! Thank you GOD!!!!!!joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-25533491755836129642011-11-27T17:52:00.000-08:002011-11-27T18:01:37.391-08:00Finch family newsHebrews 10:35<br />Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. 36For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. <br />FOR YOU HAVE NEED OF ENDURANCE <br />That is why God is taking us through this little family trial right now. And HE is making us stronger! We are learning so much through this season. <br />We are rejoicing today leaps and bounds. Molly Is a different child! She has gained two pounds, has slept from 9pm -4 or 5am the last three nights! She is eating well not crying or fussing during feeds, she is fussy only if ungry or tired. She has found her thumb and self soothes it is AMAZING! Sosososo many people have been praying for her and we are so grateful! <br />We are trying to decide whether or not to ome forward with bloodwork and further testing. Her reflux is still a dr concern. She still spits up but not as much. We don't know if we should put her through all of that if reflux supposedly gets better at 6 months we are considering waiting until then to make further plans for tests etc.<br />The boys are glad to have things closer to normal and enjoyed daddy time this last week as he took them to his memaws and left me and Molly to rest and recover. What a precious husband huh? He has been an amazinkg husband and dad through all of this thank you Jesus for the gift of a wise caring man!joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-88296718953199944202011-11-21T11:54:00.000-08:002011-11-21T11:59:13.650-08:00Uh ohOkay I cannot get my blogpress app to work correctly apparently so when I posted my lLast update it published in my kitchen blog. So go to here to see some recent pics of us all..Click <a href="http://www.littlejoyskitchen.blogspot.com">here</a>. I will see if I can figure out what went wrong in the meantime...joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-34995143675886414602011-11-19T09:53:00.000-08:002011-11-19T10:48:04.756-08:00Children's hospital visitYesterday Molly and I went to Knoxvilles children's hospital for our first visit to the g.i. Doctor. Since my last post, I have been doing the formula nutramigen all but at once a day. Only bc Molly would cry uncontrollably and try to latch onto any skin she could, my chin, neck, hand, or even bens. It was obvious she wanted to nurse. I was nursing her once a day strictly for comfort. I wasn't even sure if she was getting much. But the cdoctor yesterday said the only way to see if she is struggling from a milk protein intolerance is to stop completely. She said that all mammals whether cows, goats or humans all make a protein in our mllk. That protein is what Molly is most likely unable to digest. She said if this formula doesn't work to move to one called Neocate which costs about $70 a can. We are going thru 2 cans as week right now. So whoa! The nutramigen is soy based.<br />Also she believes that she needs further testing on reflux. Molly is only in the 8th-10th percentile and weighs 11.1 lbs. I didn't think much about this until as I was leaving I met a lady who had her son who was born at 24 weeks and weighed 2.13 lbs at birth and he was now 3 1/2 months like Molly and they weighed the same thing. She thought her son was way behind because he was a premie and I just then realized that maybe Molly isnt keeping enough food down. If the reflux is simply a laundry inconvenience then I could care less, but it's more. She still spits up about 2 oz after a feeding and fusses after each feeding. The doctor wants us to run blood work and do x-rays. She said she didn't want to run a scope on a baby this young but if the X-rays show malformation or disfunctin she will. We go back to children's tomorrow (sunday) to do bloodwork and take a stool sample. We go on November 30 to have the xrays and we go December something ( i will haveto doube,check) for the results of the labwork.<br />We had care group at our house last night and they prayed for Molly's healing. We know that if God chooses to heal her we will giveHim all the glory,but if not He is still a good God working out good things in our hearts and teaching us much aboutHis Father heart. <br />Our boys are struggling with all the crying. Brennan is dealing with it by becoming very aggressive. He has never bitten anyone But left a hard black circle on Knox arm this week. When I asked him why he but he said he was angry..he has been hitting, taking toys from Knox and being defiant towards ben andme. The sound of a crying baby is hard enough on adults who know what to try to do to help a baby, but for a toddler who got mad at the doctor for hurting his brother and sister because he gave them shots and made them cry, it's difficult to understand. We think he is mad that we don't help her and plus just the sound of babies crying is a frustrating sound. It is their scream for help. Brennan is angry that we "won't" help her. He tells me all the time mom Molly is crying- can you help her? Or asked why I can't help her. It is effecting knox's sleep. He hears her up crying after her middle of the night feedings and doesn't understand why he can't be up too. I had just fallen back asleep around midnight the other night and we heard Knox get up. Ben got up and found im in front of the fridge with the fridge wide open with a carton of milk trying to open it. He had to be put back to bed three times that night and to without a spanking.at four in the morning. Both of the boys were doing so great with potty stuff. Brennan had gone three months without wetting his pull up at night. It was wet twice this week. Knox has had to go back to pull ups complelty after wearing underwear for a month before molly was born. <br />Ben can't get away from the crying even with his soundproof headphones and the office door locked. He is looking into an office space downtown again. We are looking for household help. <br />There are numerous times when I have to set Molly down as far away from the boys as I can and go discipline them over jotting, taking toys away etc. I have to raise my voice for them to even hear me over her cries. They have been yelling at me and each other now as a new thing. <br />I could go on and on telling ou the drama at our house but I want to leave you knowing that ben and I have faith that Gods Grace is sufficient and that he will do abundantly more than we could ask or imagine.<br />Psalm 71:5<br />For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O LORD, from my youth.<br />Hebrews 10: 35-36 therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promisedjoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-73512006930553910562011-11-12T08:40:00.001-08:002011-11-12T09:58:22.633-08:00Update on MollyI will try to give you run down what h gone on with Molly. Since she was about 2 weeks old ( I'm not sure what triggered it) but Molly began screaming while she was eating and afterwards for about a 10 minutes up to 30 or more. She pulled off and on a lot and squirmed and twisted while nursing,she burped and spit up large amounts after every feeding. I told my pediatrician at each check up and he had me first go no daIry then no soy. He said to stay away from gassy foods like broccoli sweet potatoes spinach etc. I did. He mentioned no gluten, I did it. I was eating a pear for bfast, a banana for lunch, steamed rice and chicken for dinner. I was drinking coconut, or almond milk (which I enjoy both) and watching every morsel that went in my mouth. She was still Behaving the same way during nursings. My pediatrician and countless others recommended that I move to formula. I did and gradually have stopped bfeeding completely today being the first day since she was born that I haven't. I kept nursing even just a little because I didn't want to get mastitis since I am very proned to that. She still fusses after feedings, she still spits up large amounts ( like 1-3 oz) she doesn't scream or squirm while taking the bottle she does pull off and on the bottle a lot, she will only take a #2 top on an agent bottle without either drowning ( on #3 or up or fast flow on dr brown or playtex nursers) or taking 30 minutes or more to take the bottle (with #1 or slow flow tops). There have been days where she cried for an hour up to four hours non stop unable to be consoled with the five s fix (swaddle,suck,stomach/side,sshhh,sway) she slept great when she first came home for 5-6 hour streches. And then whatever the switch was that got turned on about feeding fussy got turned off about sleeping well. At first I just thought it was because we traveled. We were in Alabama for a family wedding on bens side and he did the photography. We visited his grandmother and she met mollyfor the first time. We knew it was the right thing to do because she has not been well lately. But it was a rough go for Molly. Me and the boys went to my moms from there and I tried to just see it as a messed up schedule and different locations.<br />She was 4 weeks old.<br />She is now 13 weeks old. we try to keep the schedule, sleeping and feeding, we stay at home most every day. It isn't that. The dr called in Zantac. We didn't see a change. After being in Alabama last week and my parents observing her and concluding something was definitely amiss we revisited pediatrician on Monday. He recommended that I go on formula completely even though he agrees "breast is always best". He recommended me to a gastreologist and we have an appt on Friday the 18th. He called in Prilosec and after one dose she vomited and had diarea. We haven't continued that medication. <br />She sleeps for about four maybe five hours at night. She naps for about an hour at a time during the day. She has been very gassy and congested since we started the formula. She has had green snot the past two mornings. But dr said no relation, that her ears are clear. <br />The boys are so tired of her crying (and me toooooo!!!!!!!!) <br />We pray for her daily and every time I was in th nursing room at our church since her birth some sympathetic mom has prayed for her healing. She is a very happy baby when she isn't n pain. I wish I knew what to do to help her. I have tried everything I know. We are praying for answers this Friday. They may have to do a scope which means she may have to be put to sleep. Those are not fun thoughts for a mom, but we just want her to get help.<br />We have read through the symptoms of colic and really don't feel like that is what it is. She doesn't cry only at certain times of the day. She doesn't seem to be soothed by the things that sooth colicky babies...so...we just want to know what it is bemuse she is in obvious pain.It seems to have worsened in the last few weeks. Please pray for us but know that although we are physically and mentally exhausted we are spiritually encouraged and being strengthened.joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9155700473665538134.post-45876503672557037372011-11-11T05:22:00.000-08:002011-11-11T05:32:39.292-08:00Spurgeon sermonI wanted to share this <a href="http://spurgeongems.org/vols28-30/chs1659.pdf">link</a> to a Charles Spurgeon sermon that has really ministered to me. It is based on psalm 84:11-12<br />For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give Grace and Glory: no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.<br />O Lord of Hosts, blessed is the man that trusts in You!”<br /><br />http://spurgeongems.org/vols28-30/chs1659.pdfjoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17038446990472275319noreply@blogger.com0